He is strong and independent. He keeps me on my knees. He has changed who I am.
This morning I dropped him off at school with tears in my eyes. Not a normal reaction but today is field day, and I am worried. Transitions that are not a part of his normal routine aren't easy for him to handle, neither are crowds. Today, for the first time, he will experience both without Mommy or Daddy there to help.
We've spent countless therapy hours preparing him for such events and yet I fear he isn't ready.
This may seem insane to some. If you know our sweet boy then you've seen the crazy energy, the squeals and running, the "all boy" he appears to be. I wish you could spend a day in our home and see Aiden as we do. See him when he isn't "coping" with things that often overwhelm him. A crowded home, a busy church, loud music, life.
He has come SO SO FAR. For that I am so very grateful.
Sometimes I imagine judgement on our family. He can seem "unmanageable" sometimes. Like we should reign him in. What we see is a little boy who is distracted by the "chaos" around him and truly struggles to hear the outside influence of Mommy or Daddy attempting to direct him. Sometimes it's disobedience, he's 3, but sometimes its not.
The book "shepherding a child's heart"
by Tedd Tripp has drastically changed our parenting. It has also helped me see past what I might feel as judgement. For in the end his behavior in what some would consider embarrassing situations is not as important as the state of his heart. As his parents we are called to shepherd his sweet heart, its a huge task. It's also a blessing that has drawn us closer to our Savior as we trust Him with this sweet boy and lean on Him as we seek to raise a little boy who's heart is soft to the gospel.
So today as I pray for him my prayer is that he will not be overwhelmed by the world but will remember the things we have taught him. Today, and many more days to come :)
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