Why?

Why?

As I sit here in complete and utter shock still not believing what I saw all I can do is ask myself why. Why? Why? Why?

I deleted my facebook account today.

That is a really big deal for me. As someone who has moved away from friends and family facebook provided me with an amazing way to stay connected to people that I may no longer have the privelage of staying in touch with. Now that we are traveling it was an even greater means of connectivity for me. It was something that made me feel less alone.

I am angry. I am literally shaking. I do NOT understand.

Facebook is free. They now have side bar advertisements. I get that.

What I do not get is that when I scroll down my page I am faced dead on with full on nudity. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Children are on facebook. Children. Innocent children who haven't yet been pulled into the full depth of evil this world has to offer. I hurt for them. Is there anyplace safe?

I understand the security risks of facebook. I understand that I can't truly keep what I put on there private. It was a risk that I was willing to take so that I could keep up with the people from my past. People I wouldn't be connected with if it wasn't for facebook.

It hurts. The realization that when my precious boy grows up there may truly be no safe place. I want to offer him the freedom to explore the world, to connect with people. How do I do that in a way that will encourage him to guard his heart? How?

I could go on and on but to be honest I am spent. I am tired. I don't know what to say. I simply don't understand.

There is one comfort. I know this world is not my home. I am a stranger here. It is a good reminder. A painful one yes, but maybe I needed a slap in the face. Maybe I have become too comfortable with the world. The rose colored glasses may be blinding me to the evils that are right in front of my face.

Oh that is not so bad. Why are you making such a big deal about this?

Why?

Because I want my son to know that I am willing to take a stand. That I value his heart more than this world. I want him to know that following Christ requires sacrifice that others might not understand. It is not easy, He never said it would be. So sometimes we must take up our cross, whatever it may be, and choose to follow him despite the criticism of this world.

Maybe I am making a huge deal out of it. Maybe this post is a bad idea. Maybe this cross isn't mine to bear. All I know is that in this moment my heart is heavy, and my soul is burdened. People guard your hearts and protect your children.

Rant over. I am done.