It is a rare day that there are not multiple learning moments in my life as a Momma. Those who believe we are not born with a sin nature have never spent any real time with babies. Their little personalities, errr sin natures, develop VERY EARLY. We have been blessed with a very sweet, laid back, precious child. We have also been blessed with a tiny bundle of strong personality. I am sure over the coming years I will place many calls to my own Mother who herself once dealt with a strong willed child. We won't name names :)for that might just wind up embarrassing someone!
The other night we decided to pull Aiden's highchair up to the table instead of using the little tray. Most of the time he stretches until he puts his food or gooey hands up onto the table anyway, so why not just let him be a "big boy?" He has also begun "using" forks and spoons all by himself. Now using is a word I use very loosely as most of the time it is just held while the other hand shovels in the food as quickly as possible. He is trying though! If you load the spoon it does make it to his mouth, and most of the contents end up IN his mouth. The rest, well, pictures speak louder than words...
Most days I enjoy this learning experience, watching him attempt to do things on his own, and his joy at little accomplishments. Some days however, the clean freak in me rears its ugly head and I am not as patient with his messes as I should be. I know, however, that it is in those messes, accidents, owies, and so forth, that he will truly learn. For in the end I am no different.
Life is messy. It is in the mistakes that we learn. The valleys we walk through make the mountain tops that much sweeter. Sometimes we question why God allows us to walk through certain valleys. It might just be because he can see the mountaintop and knows that in the end it will be worth it, and we will be a stronger witness for Him because of the circumstances we have grown through. Sometimes we don't see the mountaintop quickly, if at all. It is in those moments of growth and stretching that we must simply trust, as a child.
Aiden knows after a few moments of frustration attempting to put his socks back on that he can bring them to Momma and she knows how to put them back on. Yet as adults we so often cling to our frustrations out of some sort of independence, to our own detriment. We are called to lay our burdens and troubles at the feet of Jesus, not to hold them tight fisted as if life will not go on if we relinquish.
This is a lesson I struggle with, sure my heart knows it, but my head often wants to hold on. Yet when I let go, and trust God in the circumstances, both good and bad, it is then that I see His work in my life. I see a glimpse of his plan, a glimpse of His glory, or I see my deep need to trust in my Creator. I may never get what it was that I reached for, but sometimes His plan is so much bigger than my own.
This too I learned from Motherhood. For in relinquishing my plans, and walking through the deep dark valley of infertility, God taught me something about Himself, and about who I was in Him. That valley lead to a mountaintop. A sweet precious mountaintop, who daily teaches me to rely on the one who only wants my good.
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