Aiden has NEVER been a good sleeper. I try to remember that when I consider where we are today. Then I begin to wonder if our problems today are our fault. In those early months of survival we did a lot of bouncy seat naps and to sleep at night. We figured out after a month or so that we had a big problem. At four months or so we moved him from a co-sleeper next to our bed into the crib in his nursery. It was a rough, rough transition.
We were also of the "no cry" sleep mentality, and still are. There are huge arguments on both sides but for us it was the right choice. It was our way of ensuring that we bonded deeply with our baby. I don't regret it for a second. At the same time if you take a baby who isn't a good sleeper, you constantly bounce him, and you attend to his every whimper you might just find yourself at 20 months STILL not sleeping.
So here we are at almost 20 months asking ourselves some serious questions, not about past decisions, but about where it is that we should go from here. The reality is that Aiden wants 2 naps a day and will sleep for 3-4 hours during the two. He goes down at 8:30 each night. We have "transitioned to 1 nap for the last 7 days.
It is NOT going well...
In the past we have always let him transition naturally when he was ready, and up to this point it has worked well. Unfortunately he began trying to drop his afternoon nap and his nighttime wakings seemed to increase. I am afraid that he is getting too much sleep during the day for his age and therefore not wanting as much at night.
Our current reality has him waking an average of 3-10 times a night. YES I am serious. He has slept solid through an entire night maybe once or twice. If he only wakes once or twice we consider it a good night. He is up for the day by 6, this feels like an eternal state of sleep deprivation. I. Am. Tired.
The hardest struggle in all honesty is that rough nights make for rough days. He is cranky if he doesn't sleep and if I don't get enough sleep I am worthless. I don't have the patience I need to lovingly care and nurture my sweet monkey when I can't even keep my eyes open. I feel so very guilty.
So here we are at a crossroads and to be honest I haven't the slightest clue what to do. There is no good answer. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am tired and discouraged.
Sometimes you have a bad day, sometimes you feel guilty as a parent. I think all the transition has heightened our struggle. It will get better, it will be okay. I know this, but today my head is struggling to push that truth into my heart.
Oh, mama ... 3-10 times a night?! You poor thing!
ReplyDeleteAs for transitioning to one nap, is it because you feel like you *should*? I know I have felt that way because of what I've read online or because of what N's pediatrician has said. If he sleeps better at night taking two naps during the day, then I would stick with that for another month or so and then try again.
If you want to stick with one nap, I'd make sure you do a naptime routine that's consistent every day.
Email me if you want to talk more about it. I'm not an expert but sometimes it helps to talk things over with a mama who is in the same stage!